LIVE LOL

live TR-

online hasnt been going the greatest so i decided to play live poker. my offline roll is just a ****ing joke too, i only have like 1700...i've ran pretty horrendous the last few times i played live and i'm probably down like 3k. whatever.

anyways, decided to play 1/3NL. the casino had a few games running. i waited probably like 20 minutes.

i sat. typical live retards sitting, noone looked very competent.

first few hands i have nothing. i start to notice a black dude that looks like stringer bell-



is sitting in the 10 seat. he's in every hand and either limping or raising. about 4 hands in i get QQ. utg raises (utg seems like a 40 year old retard), stringer bell miniraises. im like wtf...i guess whatever, make it $100 (you can only buyin $200 in this game). stringer bell mulls and says "**** it im all in" and has KK. i lose. maybe misplayed but whatever...there were a few decent stacks at the table and i hoped i could get a quick double up bc deep w/ live tards = LOL. stringer had like $120 or something so whatever. i rebuy.

anyways, i dont really get much for the next hour or so. get QQ, raise, one call, he c/c Jxx and c/f turn. etc. i lose some medium pots and am stuck about $200 total.

huge dude who has been missing for a while sits down on his fat huge stack. this guy's a super loose lagtard and is in nearly every pot. the guy next to him is both sucking him off and getting extra bitter at the same time, a hilarious dichotomy of retardation. the guy seems to have some bitter vendetta against the lagtard. anyways, i open KJ after a limper, lagtard and vendetta both call, a few others call.

flop: J 5 6r

all check, i check to lagtard who is going to bet. i thought this was a nice form of pot control as well as extracting value. lagtard bets like $22 into $60. vendetta makes it $60 (with $220 effective). i fold, all else fold.

lagtard mulls it over and makes it $100. (miniraises back). vendetta instajams and lagtard thinks for a while. (i'm laughing heavily inside). lagtard shows a J and folds, vendetta proudly shows KQo and says "NOTHING". i say "bold aggressive move" and he cackles.

i get 98 and overlimp after a ton of limps. flop 936, all check to me otb, i bet. 2 callers.

turn: 7 (9367) ...i'm like jizzing myself at this point. sb checks to me (sb was vendetta from other hand), other dude checks, i bet, sb calls, other folds.

river 5, he donks $60 into me...i just ship it and hope he has like 4x or something...he folds and says "two pair no good huh"

i later overlimp AJ after a bunch, flop J73r. stringer bell bets $5, other calls, i raise to $20, both call. turn 3, stringer bets $20, other folds, i call. river 8, he checks, i bet smallish, he calls and is upset that i have TOP TOP.



so i have like $550 or something after building up, getting medium pots. nice little recovery, up about $150 or so.

then a ****ing hilarious hand happens.

I overlimp K3 after a bunch.

flop: Q83
all check to me, i bet, 2 calls. (one old guy who looks like -Agamemnon from troy)



and the other some other retard who has been limping a ton.

turn 3 both check, i bet large. valuetownnnn.

BOTH ****ING CALL

river K I JIZZ MYSELF



both check, im like ok one of these retards has a flush, i bet largeish. OLD GUY SNAP CALLS and says "I hafta call you", other guy JAMS. im like ugh well if you have 666 gg and snap call, old guy snap folds Qx.

other guy says "i just have a 3" and flips A3. i say "boat" and flip my cards-

I HAVE K ****ING 4!!!!! I MISREAD MY ****ING HAND WHAT A DONK

MOTHERFUKER. old guy starts cackling like a ****ing hyena, i laugh my ass off. other guy who just took the money from me looks confused as **** and shrugs. i say "tell cathy that the xbox you buy her is on me" and he laughs his ass off. orange, the village ****ing idiot at this retard table. great.

anyways, i dont really get much the rest of the night. pay off some nitty dude because i'm a ****ing payoffwizard with 88 on J9349 board lol and lose to AJ.

old agamenon is laughing his ass off throughout the night. he keeps referencing my hand and says "YOU BETTER DOUBLE CHECK YOUR CARDS AHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA" i laugh my ass off as i bet/call against him with A7 on AT2 board and win vs. JJ. oh well at least i gave that old geezer something to laugh about. geezer said that he misread his hand last week and called a river bet w/ 9 high.

overall, lost $80 due to my ignorance. fun night. my friend won $190 though, so good for him. WHAT A ****ING RETARD I AM LOL