Desensitized

As I start playing more 2/4 full time, I've realized a few things. Just like any other limit, I must learn to become desensitized to the money. I need to 'learn' that 2k-3k-4k-etc isn't really that much compared to the stakes I play. 4-5 buyins isn't a ton either, and I should be expected to win or lose that much every time I sit. Even more so in a game like PLO, where you can swing 4-5 buyins within a matter of minutes (you can do the same in NLHE it just isn't as frequent). I've been playing fairly poorly the last few days. There have been situations where I tell myself "fuck it, just take my $150 or whatever, I want to see what you have"...I know I'm beat in alot of these situations but I can't help myself. I just want to see their cards! Frustrating.

And this usually happens when I'm on tilt (obv). I used to tilt more psychotically, shoving AI pf in NLHE. In PLO that would be pretty disastrous and now my form of tilt is resolved in calling alot lighter, 'hoping to get lucky'. Pretty bad either way and its something I need to fix.

Thankfully I keep a decent amount online compared to the stakes I play. I think a larger roll is good for lessening these blows.

I'd like to talk about other topics but don't have a ton of time these days. I have a myriad of 10 page papers I have to write within the coming weeks. School sucks ass. I still haven't figured out where to go for winter break so any suggestions, let me know. Maybe vegas. I am going to go to UF's bowl game though so that should be nice.

Fuck poker...just gotta get used to the swings. shit happens.