fat freaks

IHOP tr-

ive been to IHOP hundreds of times. tonight started the same, a friend and i sat in a booth, eating, minding our own business. we saw a SUPER ****ing fatass chick and a hick guy walk in a few minutes prior (probably thought the same thing- 'holy christ that woman is huge, do you really need more IHOP?') but said nothing.




so we're just sitting here, minding our own business, shooting the **** like normal. then the whale speaks (she is sitting in the booth behind ours)-

"hey...do you guys goin partying tonight?" (it's 1:30 on a ****ing monday night)

i turn my head and see if she's serious...considering both bars are closed at 1, we're nowhere near downtown, and we're dressed in like...jersey shorts and idiot shirts, most astute people can make the assumption that no, we are not going to a party. i suppose i shouldn't question the intelligence of a super whale who looks like she's about to die eating more IHOP though.

'uh...no. i'm going to bed after this'

'oh really? wow...okay...its just that me and him (she points to her friend, an equally brain dead indvidual) don't have work tomorrow and are looking for some parties.'

'uh...mmm...' (i sit there and eat my meal).

'i gotta 12 pack of bud and everything in the back seat of my car too. do you guys go to the university around here?'

i nod but don't say anything, and my friend and i are starting at each other, both thinking what the ****??

so we eat for a few minutes longer, not really saying much. i like to eat my food fast, whatever. then that fat**** interrupts my meal again-

"so are you guys like bffs? like best buds??"

from here on out, i fail to say anything...it's like encouraging this retard to continue to bother me. at one point i was going to say 'jesus lady, why dont you just shut the hell up and let me eat my meal?' instead, i just sat there (with my back turned to them, thankfully...my friend had to face them the entire time) and said nothing.

friend - "uhh...yeah, something like that i guess"

fat**** whale finally somewhat gets the hint and mutters- "oh...am i interrupting your meal? i'm sorry..." then continues to mutter to herself like the tard she is.

so i continue eating and then she turns around and i hear that ****ing voice again-

"so where are all the hot chicks tonight? where they all at?"

(i remain silent) friend- "uhh...they sure aren't in IHOP"

"oh okay...just trying to make conversation here...gotta think of more stuff to talk about"

so by this time, i'm giving my friends these looks like WTF this lady is bat**** annoying, stupid as hell, fat as ****, i want to strangle her. too bad her friend looks like the next coming of frankenstein, probably with an equal intelligence/strength as well. a few minutes pass and we are finishing up, getting the bill when i hear that damn voice one last time-

"i hope you guys don't think i'm hitting on you (god forbid)...i'm a lesbian anyways. just trying to make conversation"

my friend and i don't say anything, walk the **** out of there, both saying 'god what a fat freak, lady wasnt all there, etc'.

****ing freaks